Mental health update: Opening the door to ego
A bloke’s ego is made up of all those things which help us define who we are as individuals, it is a construct of our personality, character, self-image, self-esteem and self-worth.
In some conversations that we have, we may think, “That man has such an enormous ego. I’ve never known anyone so full of themselves!”
One dictionary definition states “someone’s ego is their sense of their own worth”.
For example, if someone has a large ego, they think they are very important and valuable. “He had a massive ego and would never admit he was wrong.”
It is the latter part of this definition that often leads blokes into spaces they would rather not be i.e. not talking about the stuff which is important to our wellbeing. This can be personal issues such as relationships, finance, family, work and/or any other challenges.
Perhaps part of this ego equation for blokes is enshrined in the main things we worry about, which quite often are about the traditional expectations of society, our place in society – career-wise and success wise. As a collective, blokes are often still perceived by how much we are earning and how well we are doing, that is being defined by the work we do. We are more than this.
Additionally, social/spiritual wellbeing needs to be better understood and made a higher priority by all blokes and society. It is something we talk about it in all our education sessions, as it is where we find: our identity, our individuality, our culture, our own sense of self, our sense of belonging, our passions and interests. It is the heart of what each of us wants it to be.
In practical terms this is about opening up and being more than our work.
In conversations with each other we should be talking about those things that are important in our lives, like the fact that we are a great dad, a brother, a grandfather, an uncle, a husband, a family man, a rally driver, BBQ king, handyman, and/or chef. By talking about what makes us tick (in part, our ego) we can put a positive spin around the meaning of ego, the main one being admitting when we are wrong and/or when we are struggling with life.
Being comfortable and confident in ourselves will help open the door to conversations with others about some of the issues challenging our personal lives, our families and businesses.
You can be assured you are not alone out there, as most people are challenged by the same issues.
Culturally blokes in general are fixers “I’ll fix this myself”, so we must always question what we are fixing, how we are fixing it, and when we are fixing it?
We know all men need to talk, the million-dollar question is to whom and where? Everyone needs their personal space, but we also need to talk. And to have a personal conversation we need a safe place. For blokes, this is quite often a place with a masculine vibe. This can be the men’s shed, a sporting club, a social club, maybe a barber shop, or even just leaning over the back of the ute with a mate.
It’s important that we have these conversations now. The longer you leave them, the more set we can become. Our ego is not that complex, it is part of our DNA, and like many things in life, is best when shared with those who are important to us.
So, remember our saying… before it all gets too much… Talk to a Mate®!!